Sunday, October 7, 2012


Sleepless Beauty

It seems fitting that I would write this post at 2 AM.  I got ready for bed, read for a little while, turned out the light and drifted off to…nope.  Nice try but it’s not happening.    I understand that sleeplessness is one of the most common of all the perimenopausal symptoms and I’m happy to say that, with the exception of tonight, I have generally not had to deal with this one very often.  Nonetheless – here I am – not sleeping.  

It’s maddening when you think about it.  The alarm goes off too early in the morning.  You hit the snooze.  Once. Twice.  Three times.  Pretty soon, you lose count – that’s how you know it’s time to get up.  You race to get ready and get busy about your day.  Not only do you tackle the things you knew were on your agenda, but you are also faced with the challenge of dealing with several non-scheduled “emergencies” as well.  By mid-afternoon you’re exhausted and looking for a cup of coffee but you resist, knowing it will likely keep you awake several hours later.  You plow through the afternoon, barely getting supper together before you crash on the couch for a little down time.  You can hardly keep your eyes open and finally, you drag yourself upstairs to bed and gratefully collapse on your pillow-top mattress.   You turn out the lights, snuggle into your pillow and hmmm…

“Did I turn out the bathroom light? Is the cat out?  I should get some milk tomorrow.  I wonder if the bank will be open.  I think it’s going to be cold out – maybe I should check the weather. Why am I not sleeping?  I thought I was exhausted.  I feel hot. What’s wrong with me?  Maybe I should get up and stop wasting time trying to sleep.  That’s a bad idea.  On the other hand, I could write that blog about sleeplessness…”

Shifting hormones can mess with our sleep patterns, but nothing messes with it more than plain old worry.  Women our age are often carrying a boat-load of concerns.  Many of us have children who are not quite fully adults, but think they are – that alone will keep moms awake for hours!  In addition to that, we may have parents who have health concerns and jobs that keep us busy.  We have friends with difficult struggles, meals that need to be made, bills that need to be paid and our own crazy symptoms to deal with!  That’s a loaded list of things to think on when we’re trying desperately to fall asleep!   Perimenopause plus worry equals sleeplessness.   If we can try to remove the worry part of this equation, we increase our chances of sleeping at night. Sounds simple enough - but - how do we worry less?  Well, I guess we learn to trust more!  Philippians 4:6 & 7 gives us a helpful reminder about how to deal with our tendency towards worry:  “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;  and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”   

Prayer is my go-to when I can’t sleep.   I’m not sure that makes me very spiritual though. After all, let’s be honest, I am using prayer like some sort of divine sleeping aid.  I don’t have to turn the light on, or get out of bed to accomplish this worthy activity.  I can lay right there, lazy as a log, ready in my sleep-position of choice, praying up a quiet storm and all the while prepared to drift off to dream land.   Sometimes it works and sometimes I find myself frustrated and praying an exasperated prayer, “GOD! Please help me go to sleep!  That’s why I came to you in the first place!”   

I have a smart phone that I keep next to my bed as it charges.  Tonight, while I lay there in the dark,  I Googled, “What to do when you can’t sleep.”  I was amused by the findings.  One of the options was to download the app for Jeopardy and work at getting smarter by building my trivia skills.  I was fine with the idea, until I found out that the Jeopardy app is $1.99 to download.  I don’t know about you, but I need to generally steer clear of spending any money at 2 am.  It’s rarely a good decision when you’re tired and menopausal. (This also stands true for QVC watchers.) 

What else can you do while awaiting a visit from Mr. Sandman? (Now that song came out WELL before my time, just to be clear. *See previous post.)   I have friends who tell me that they bake, watch old TV reruns, make crafts, read, organize old photos, iron, make their shopping list, and make vacation plans.  

You know what’s NOT on this list?  Counting sheep.  I’m not sure who came up with the idea that counting sheep was a valid sleep-inducing activity, but I have not found it very effective.  First of all, I have to wake myself up enough to actively imagine these pretend sheep so that I may count them-how’s that helpful?   Then of course, I am struck by the odd sight as I envision these imaginary sheep each able to bound over a small wooden fence with ease and grace.  These must be superhero sheep because I don’t believe (although I am no shepherd) that regular pudgy ones could ever clear more than 3 inches at best.   I’ve also never found sheep to be that orderly, have you?  Whenever I’ve attempted to count them to help me sleep, they start bunching up, trying to all climb the fence at once.  Some even try to crawl under it and several are butting each other out of the way.  Furthermore, their constant pretend baa-ing, which sounds so much like whining, completely distracts me from counting and I give up.  This is not at all restful for me!  I am not a farmer – and I have no interest in counting the heads of non-existent livestock at 2 AM!

As I said at the beginning of this post.  I’m relatively new to the whole world of sleepless nights, so my list of “What to do when you can’t sleep” is not at all exhaustive.  I suppose that I could check Google to get more ideas, but I would honestly love to hear what has worked for you.  So, to my bleary-eyed, night owl friends, tell me would you: what do YOU do in the wee hours of the night when sleep is not an option?   (And you lose points if you say, “Worry”.  But I’ll give you bonus points if you say, “Benadryl”). 

Ok – time for another attempt at sleep!

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